Circle of Trust

Meating Nina

2011-10-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

2011-10-05T02:17:00.000-07:00

There comes a time where you reach a point in your life and you wonder where you went wrong. How did you get here? And will you ever be able to make things right again?

I just got back a few weeks ago from a two week bike trip from Serbia to Istanbul and one of the most important things I learned is how small we are. There is nothing like standing at the top of a mountain overlooking a city with 17 million people and experiencing this sense of utter isolation. You are just one of so many, who are you to think of yourself as the centre of the universe. It is a very foolish thing to think so highly of yourself. And yet are we not all guilty of self obsession?

We build our lives around ourselves and judge others by our own standards and try to mold people to suit our needs. We search for a partner that will be most compatible to our lifestyle and who will placate our egos. Anything other than that is discarded without even seeing the soul inside. It makes me sick to think of it, and yet I am as guilty as the next person. We can label it any way we want but at the end of the day most peoples helpful criticism isn't always improving others they are merely trying to conform them to their own way of thinking.

Well what if I don't like your way of thinking? What if I feel as far removed from your opinion as the earth from the stars? Well that would make me contrary independent, selfish and stubborn.
I am contrary, independent, selfish and stubborn. These are not traits to be proud of and I have fought with them through my entire adult life. I am pleased to admit that I have mellowed from my more fiery youth and I do not jump to my feet when I hear an opinion that conflicts with my own. But I have also come to realise and accept that no matter how tempered I have become the roots remain true. But rather than chip away at my soul with your relentless pounding why not see the good?

I am contrary – I bring other options to the table that you might not have thought of otherwise, I keep the balance of ideas level.

I am independent – I do not impose on you for anything and will not be a burden but rather a shoulder should you need someone to lean on.

I am selfish – I am not a pushover and will not agree with whatever people say just to please others, as I do not feel the need to please everyone.

I am stubborn – I will follow things through, I will not give up on you.

The next time you encounter someone that pushes all the wrong buttons, just keep in mind that they most likely see you the same way. We are nothing but a speak of dust floating on the breeze. The man herding his goats in Bulgaria has a story a life and an opinion just as valued as yours. Try to look past the exterior and see their heart.

My heart is good.

Why I do what I do

2011-10-05T01:48:00.001-07:00

Written prior to my bike journey.

So some people have been asking me why I have decided to bike through some of the poorest countries in Europe with just another girl as a companion and if I have some sort of death wish.

Well first of all no, I quite enjoy life and have no desire to end it at this point in time. I just believe with all my heart that life is something you grab onto with both hands, you jump on the bull you surf the wave and you eat that second piece of cake! Sure there are consequences you might get gored by a horn, you might get pounded by a wave and you might EVEN gain weight! But isn’t it worth it for that one pure moment of feeling alive? That moment where you can truly say you felt every beat of your heart. Its moments like that that make life worth living. I am in love with life; I love the way it changes with every breath and the way it flows through the landscape of your soul. Life is never boring its peoples attitudes that make it boring.

Contrary to some people’s perception I don’t do things so that I can say how wild I am, I do things because I love the wild. And unlike the many who talk about their dreams I like to act on my dreams, there are of course limitations and there are dreams that I dare to dream that I will never let escape the confines of my heart. But this is not one of them.

I love to be outside there is nothing I love more than to watch the sunrise or a cloud break over the horizon. I love the moon I love the stars I love fields of wheat and apple trees. Sometimes I get so happy just experiencing natures beauty that I think that life is complete just by viewing its splendor. I certainly wouldn’t have gotten this far without it.

So a chance to view all this first hand is something I wouldn’t give up for the world. A chance to cycle through mountains, fields, towns and countries is a gift. I would take this over lazing on the beach any day!

Airports

2011-07-22T01:57:00.000-07:00

(Written on the 14th of July)

I have come to a stage in my life where I have started to despise airports. The very place that used to hold such mystery and excitement now fills me with a sense of foreboding at overpriced coffee and linoleum hallways.

This could also have something to do with the fact that an experience that once consisted of free miniature bottles of gin delivered with a smile and complimentary headphones on a trip consisting of an hour, now involves being herded like sheep down institutionalized seats, legs hitting your chin and a look of derision should you request a cup of water.

15 hours of said torture could explain my mental state today.

I left my friends in Serbia yesterday at 01:00am and didn’t put my feet on Irish soil till 16:30, the 15 hours in-between were a surreal experience of nodding off at airports, jumping each time the loudspeaker went off threatening to destroy my bag should I leave it unattended, eating packets of chocolate chip cookies at prices worthy of the inflation days of the depression, and dreaming of waves lapping against the poisoned shores of my mind. (Don’t ask)
I went through one too many security checks was asked to take off my outer garments by men
and women who looked like they were just itching to tackle someone in order to break the monotony of their useless existence. I would be pretty pissed off too if I was told that I was protecting homeland security by confiscating tommee tippee water cups and Dove shampoo.
I did however sneak through my razor at each checkpoint and felt a perverse sense of excitement that although my face cream was scrutinized with displeasure I still had the option to hijack a plane with my wicked Gillette.

I think though that the main reason I dislike airports is that they symbolize goodbyes, regardless if you are departing or arriving there is something that you are leaving behind.

It's lonely being right all the time.

2011-06-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

Being right can be a terrible thing.

There is something incredibly annoying about someone who is always right. Is it jealousy perhaps that causes us to detest those who with a look of superiority manage to crash our plane before it even has a chance to take a test flight.
I think once upon a time I was a little like that, I seem to recall heated arguments about the properties of egg whites and the Latin name for jaguar, but I believe I have come to a point in my life where as Rhett so eloquently put it “Frankly my dear I don't give a dham” .
Who cares about winning the game, who cares about knowing what the indigenous people of Borneo are called (Its Dayak by the way). And who gives a flying fuck about what you did or didn't say five or ten years ago. And yes I just used a swear word, and who the hell gives a dham?

Lets just learn to let it go people! Give each other some slack, don't break out into a self-righteous sweat if someone has a different opinion then yours, even if it IS wrong.

2011-06-13T02:30:00.000-07:00

There are two kinds of strong people. They of course come in many different shapes and colours but they have a underlining thread that is common in all.

There are the ones who are strong and make you feel weak because of it, and there are the ones who are strong and make you feel supported because of it.

The difference in action can be minuscule sometimes, but the effects are astronomical.

I wouldn't consider myself a weak or strong person, but I have come into contact with both types of strong people.
One made me feel guilty for my weaknesses and while I did work harder it was because I feared disapproval more then anything else. I felt inadequate.
The other encouraged me and although no exact words were exchanged I did not feel that I was being compared to or measured by anyones standards.

Both led by example, both were hard workers, both are people that I like.
But the feeling I came away with at the end of the day was as different as night and day.

It made me want to be more careful with how I act around those who are “weaker” or “slower” then me.

2011-04-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

Something profound happened to me the other day as I sat on the London District line, between Wimbletown and Earls Court.

I was swaying mildly with the trains momentum and idly watching the different variety of humans board and disembark, and thinking about the dinner conversation I had had with some friends the night before.
I had gone out to meet a old girlfriend from highschool and we had met up with one of her friends and spent the evening in a Lebanese restaurant talking about almost everything under the sun, but ultimately culminating in men and relationships.

We talked about the different experiences we have had and the current ones we were going through. I explained to the girl whom I had just met that I have been in my current relationship for 8 years. At first she was a bit shocked but then she said something that shocked me. She said “well I guess thats what we are all ultimately looking for”.

I had never thought about it that way before. And as I sat on the tube, I looked at everyone around me and wondered if that was what everyone was looking for, and what gave their life meaning. Is life simply a search for Mr or Mrs Right? If we find that person and settle down is that what its all about?

On some level I feel like screaming NOOOOOOOOOOO there is more to life then a string of relationships where we are constantly screening and eliminating those that we do not feel would fit our idea of lifetime partner material.

But I have a feeling I would be screaming in vain.

I have a feeling that she was right, that it is what life is all about and what we are, no matter how much we deny it, looking for.
We are looking for someone to love and to love us, and everything else is secondary, you might try to fool yourself sometimes and focus on your career or hobby or even just your friends. But deep down inside no matter how deep we bury it, no matter how many locks we put on that door, we know what really lies within us.

Happy hunting everyone, may you find your great catch!

On the road again

2011-04-08T04:43:00.000-07:00

Written on the 3rd, posted due to internet complications on the 8th, from London.

I am currently sitting on a airplane neatly parked on the tarmac in Rome, which true to Italian efficiency is ridiculously late in taking off.
And I realise that I have been negligent in keeping you all updated on the latest happenings in my “exciting” life.
In the space of two weeks I will have been to 5 different countries and had many adventures on the journey.
But lets start at the beginning. It is the Bookfair season and this year Bologna and London are only one week apart. So a week ago I kissed Claudia goodbye and set out with a makeshift backpack and rolling suitcase to catch the bus to the Romanian border, I started to have my first doubts when it seemed like the concept of human capacity did not seem to be in the drivers vocabulary. For a long distance bus they squeezed a surprising amount of people in and even standing space was non existent after a while. Thankfully I had got on at the first stop and had procured a good spot where I could make sure nobody “mistook” my luggage for their own. Although the actuality of being able to squeeze my way off the bus in time to catch the thief was really nonexistent. I had no idea what my stop looked like, and it seemed like the timetable was more of a suggestion then an actual reference point. Thankfully shortly before I started to panic, I found someone who was able to let me know which stop to get off at, they left me however with the comforting words of, “there are three stops in this city you know which one to take right?” I have to confess I knew no such thing and hoped for the best as I jumped out.

It was pitch black by now, and I was supposed to be picked up by a friend in Romania, I would stay at their house and then fly to Milan that next day.
Well he wasn't there. The bus stop was really just a dirt hard shoulder and there was no station or even phone booth so I was feeling quite forlorn. Lucky for me two girls had gotten off at the same stop, they recognized by my furtive glances and nervous twitching that I was a foreigner and probably in a bit of a pinch.
They were very concerned as they warned me that this was a bad area, (great) and I shouldn't be standing there by myself. I wholeheartedly agreed with them. One of them lent me her phone and I was able to text my friend who had gotten stuck at the border, and let him know where I was. Which was lucky as he had no idea which bus stop I was at...
So within 45 minutes he arrived, I have to say I have never been so happy to see let alone get into a Korean car as I was then. Of course the border crossing took a good hour as they busied themselves sticking cameras down the fuel tank and I did my best impersonation of a dumb blond when I got caught with 8 packs of cigarettes over the legal limit. The ploy seemed to work and even though my Swedish accent was unconvincing they seemed to buy the dumb part. Sometime after midnight I was asleep in Romania after eating some non identifiable grains with what I presume was meat. I didn't ask.

Three hours later I was on my way to the airport in a semi state of delirium. I caught my flight and at 6:00 am was in Italy. Ahhhhhh sunshine! Coffee! Milan!
I checked in my luggage at the train station and spent the first part of the day, basking in the sunshine in fount of the Duomo, and doing my touristy bit at the various churches and castle. Soon enough I was feeling the effects of the early departure and made my way to Parma where I was staying with some friends.
After a nap of indeterminable length, as I couldn't seem to go to sleep, I was awoken by a horde of Italians on their way to play soccer... Now for those of you more familiar with me, it will come as no surprise that I had indeed forgone 3 kilos of valuable baggage space in order to accommodate my soccer paraphernalia.
So suffice it to say that when I have the makings of a proper game available, wild horses cant drag me away!
So strapping on my protective armour (I am terribly clumsy) and donning my cleats we went off and had a brilliant game in the 27 degree heat and to top it all off my team won!

The next day the rest of the bookfair team arrived and we drove off to the fair to prepare for the setup which took two long days. On the last setup day we managed to finish up before 5 so another soccer game was in order. I was feeling rather cocky after our crushing victory and strutted unto the field. Things went stupendously, we even let the other team score a few for moral purposes ;) However it all ended rather ignominiously with a horrible crunch as I managed to twist my ankle in a most unnatural angle. Great. The day before a four day fair were I stand for about 9 hours a day, I twist my ankle. And it wasn't just a ladylike sprain where I hobble off the court on some gentleman's arm, and have a delicate bump oh no.... This was a ugly blue ankle, swollen to hitherto unimaginable proportions, kind of sprain. No gentleman would even want to give me their arm after the sight of my obese swolleness! The only consolation was that we were winning at the time so my competitiveness was at least somewhat appeased.
Thank God for painkillers! My Dad happened to have some which were given to him by my grandmother. They were leftover after my Grandfather died of Cancer and were the strongest imaginable, (Yepp that's right Dad travels around with opiate painkillers, I guess he knows the kind of stuff I get myself into)
So for four days I stood elegantly leaning against the wall and wore slacks and black tights. Note to self, reserve any limb endangering sports till after important events.

After the fair we drove down to Rome where we spent a day taking in the sights, now I LOVE Rome, and museums but there is a limit to my interest in stone busts and Renaissance paintings. The Vatican while amazing become one long blur of blurriness and although I did my best to act amazed at yet another sculpture of some naked roman I think it was rather halfhearted. The Sistine chapel however was stunning and some of the rooms in that place were downright scandalous in the amount of finery used.

Well after Rome its now back to Belgrade where a whole new set of goodbyes will take place as I fly back to Ireland and then the next day to London.

In order not to bore you all, I will post only two pics from Rome and two from Milan.
Dont mind the spots on the pics from Milan, there was dust on my sensor, which I am proud to say I managed to remove with a balloon pump :)

Duomo in Milan.

Vatican in Rome, I got terribly excited over that statues bottom.

Happy St. Patricks Day!

2011-03-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

St. Patrick’s Day was so much fun here in Serbia.

Anna and I, the two people from the land of beer, decided to attack the local Irish pub in Novi Sad and offer face painting to the customers. We hoped to earn some extra cash for our charity here and have a good time while we were at it.
I don’t think we knew what we were getting into…

Arriving at the Pub decked out in our finest shamrocks and all complete with Irish cover names (I was Shannon) we took out our hastily mixed paints (yes I mean mixed paints, we didn’t have orange and so after some experimentation ended up with some pink looking yellow.) And with our most winning smiles we plunged into the crowd, with jars of water in hand and paintbrushes tucked behind our ears. We didn’t resurface for about three hours.

Turns out everyone wants to get their face painted on St. Patricks day, even in Serbia. It was two floors of packed madness, with people beckoning us this way and that, everyone eager to join in the fun. Poor Anna and I started going mad, setting down our jars of now green water and mistaking it for the pints of green beer, ending in some almost disastrous consequences. After the donation jar could not fit another note we decided to call it a night and join in the fun ourselves!

So we danced away to the local’s interpretation of Irish Rock music and ended our night with the biggest Pljeskavica we could find at two in the morning. (All those who have not visited the Balkan regions and familiarized themselves with this local specialty has only to imagine a mix between a kebab and a burger.) Mmmmmm and at only 2 euros each its amazing! Not to mention incredibly filling.

So Paddys day was celebrated in true Irish fashion at the pub with Guinness, music and laughter. Hope you all had a wonderful time as well!

P.S. We made allot of cash too, just thought I should mention that ;)

2011-03-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

So last weekend was just blah, no other words can describe it.

Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. It was so depressing that I actually went to my bed got under the covers and cried. That’s right, great big fat poor me tears. I had managed to injure myself, screw up an important delivery and missed my big night out all in the space of two short days.

Life was officially over. Thankfully Lani and Mary recognized the symptoms, declared a state of emergency and threw together a pan of brownies. The smell was enough to make me venture out of seclusion and that coupled with a cinema style film on the projector made life seem a little less catastrophic.

By the way it was one of the best movies I have seen in ages! It was a Serbian Movie called Black Cat White Cat, and I haven’t laughed so much over a movie for a long time! Highly recommended, although the humor is definitely an acquired taste.
So I have to admit I was still feeling pretty low on Monday but today has got me back on track! I had such a good day, two very successful meetings lots of coffee and brilliant sunshine!!!

Its so good to be alive! But seriously watch that movie, its something else….

2011-02-27T03:59:00.000-08:00

I forgot to tell you I got my stomach pierced. It was one of those surreal experiences that you look back on and say, “what the hell was I thinking?”.

I have wanted to get my stomach pierced for some time now, but told myself I had to get a six pack first, somehow even when I did manage that feat I would neglect getting my piercing, probably because when it comes to needles I am such a sissy its pathetic!
Anyway back to my story, I casually mention to the girls here that I wanted to get a piercing and of course they happen to know someone who can do it for me. Great now I really don't have an excuse, to make matters worse they call immediately and arrange it for the next evening. Arrrg, me and my big mouth, I don't really want someone to stick a needle in me, regardless of the aesthetic benefits.

Its all arranged and the next evening I find myself waiting at the trainstation where we are mysteriously led into some aging soviet style crumbling apartment block and inside the freaky elevator (you know the type that has bars in front and if you put your hand out you can touch the walls that slide by as you ascend, scary!). After a series of coded knocks on a auspicious door, it cracks open to reveal a den of musical instruments, vodka bottles, cigarette smoke and several men who casually let us in as if foreign girls regularly enter into their apartment to have needles injected! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So now I am seriously reconsidering the logic behind this decision, but Anna is happily chatting away getting them to bring her snacks and determined to ease my discomfort be regaling me with the humorous tales of how “Zoran” (my competent piercer) managed to get a chin piercing wrong and ended up putting it off center. Oh ho ho ho SO funny, thanks Anna, for the moral support please leave the room!

After successfully evicting Anna from the room, we get down to business. I lie down on the bed with my feet up on someone's pillow and take a deep breath.
Ouch! Okay so it wasn't so bad, after having a baby nothing will ever seem that bad again, but I am not a happy puppy when I hear “Oh shit”. What has he done? Punctured my colon? Turns out the needle went through, hmm that would explain the pain, but the plastic piece wrinkled and didn't go through.

Murphys law.

Oh well don't worry just nip out to the nearest pharmacy and buy a new one. Don't mind the fact that its past nine and most of them are closed. I will just lie here bleeding on your bed til you get back, don't mind me.
Well sometime later on during the night we finish the procedure and Anna has dutifully held my hand while exclaiming that she is sure it will look all right once the swelling has subsided. She didn't look very convinced, who could blame her? After all that trauma it looks like someone punched me in the stomach several times. Now lets bike the 7 kilometers home, no problem, super women in the making here, haha.

As soon as we left the apartment I went to the nearest kiosk and bought a two liter bottle of beer. Figured I deserved it for being such a trooper. But once I got over the infection, (I will spare you the gross details) it looks pretty good and now I even have a memory other then some boring chair in a tattoo parlor to remember this piercing by.

Note to self, if Anna is involved just say NO.

2011-02-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer.
Before you start reading let me just inform you that the word "Love" is not to be found in the text below so I have kept to my promise not to discuss that emotion. I have however neglected my essay on thread counts. After a final revision of the original draft I realized that it was quality material that most of you readers would have no understanding or appreciation of so I have instead sent it in to the proper section where it can be put to good use.
End of disclaimer.

Today was another one of those days where I felt rotten, just down right rotten.

I was ready to go out the door early after breakfast with my detailed list of places, names and addresses to visit. God my organization is starting to impress me these days, all that time living with a Virgo finally rubbed off!

So my partner aka Serbian translator, driver and yes a Virgo (how do I always get stuck with these Virgo men?) was slightly delayed. Whoever said that women were late definitely has not been in the company of half the men I have worked with, as I always seem to be waiting in the car a good half hour while they painstakingly finish gelling their non existent hair into the perfect spike. (Now guys don’t get all offended, this is just a women speaking after all what does she know?)
Moving on, albeit slowly…

So since I have time on my hands I decided to sit down and think for a bit. NOT a good idea! Whoever said that women shouldn’t think for themselves was right!
We really shouldn’t, our minds are deep dark chasms that should not be entered without the most able of guides, preferably equipped with some sort of weapon to fend off the whirlwind of conflicting emotions and ideas.

But don’t worry this is not another post about the evils of emotions, although for the record yes they are evil. Blah, yuck, gross.
Back to my story, I started to think, and I started to scare myself! Soon I was staring out the window two milliseconds away from tears. A chipped fingernail would have sent me over the edge and you would have had to apply an IV drip just to rehydrate me.
Just when I think I am a strong independent women (all those women’s lib meetings with Anna have really inspired me) I realize that I am just a scared little girl on the inside, lying to myself. I pride myself on honesty but I deceive myself to distraction.
Why can’t I let go? I feel like that dammed eagle just chained to that post going around and round the same problem, and when given the opportunity to fly and leave it behind I go right back to that post arrrrgggg!!!

Anyway this story has a happy ending, we finally got out of the house just before I melted into a little puddle of depression (terrible stuff that) we had an amazing day full of crazy Serbian encounters and after speeding down the Main street I was feeling pretty good (that last part is a LIE I wasn’t actually speeding, ahem, I am a safe and careful driver…)

This time away has been so good for me, but it has also shown me my limits and to some degree my selfishness. Feeling sorry for oneself is really just pride and if I accomplish anything from my self imposed banishment it will be to stop thinking about myself, and what I think would be best for me.

Now the day is at its end, I just finished drinking beer and eating amazing sushi and feel so lucky to be surrounded by people that accept me for who I am, and who maybe even appreciate me.

Who cares how many friends I have on facebook, or how many guys I have dangling after me or even how much I weigh, I never did care about those things why should I start now? So enough with the menopausal moaning, get up and get over it, eat some more Sushi, drink some more beer. Life is too short to waste it on people who don’t care anyway.

2011-02-21T02:21:00.001-08:00

When does love stop being the answer for everything? Growing up I was always taught that love covers all sins. That if you have enough love then you can see past all the bad things all the imperfections, ignore the glaring differences. But at what point does love stop being enough? When are you just pulling the love card to excuse yourself from making change?
Someone once said 'Love is what you've been through with somebody.' Why do we have to always be going through it because of Love? Why can’t we seem to have balance between our Love for people and our tolerance for their company? Sometimes I wish that four-letter word didn’t exist.

No I can’t say that it’s not the loving thing to say.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not going through some mid youth crisis, there is no box of chocolates half eaten, along with a bottle of vodka hidden under my bed. No pile of tissues heaped in my rubbish bin. Been there done that, it doesn’t help. Only thing it creates is a larger waist size and undermines general coherency.
I have nothing to complain of I have experienced plenty of love in my life; I am not one of those people who crawl into their closet and cry that nobody loves them (okay fine, maybe once or twice in a diva moment I have been guilty of such a act). I just think sometimes that we should use the love word a little more judiciously. And not brandish it about as a one size fits all miracle cure for all our problems.

We Love each other so everything is going to be fine.

Well I certainly hope so, cynic that I am I will be rooting for true acceptance none the less.

P.S.
For all those who are sick about hearing my twisted perception on the most beautiful thing on this planet do not fear, my next post will be about something entirely different. No more romantic musings for me, next time I will examine the benefits of a 300 point thread count in cotton sheets versus the more common choice of 180. Enjoy, it promises to be riveting!

2011-02-14T06:06:00.000-08:00

Its that time of year again...

2011-02-12T15:38:00.001-08:00

I have decided to boycott Valentines this year.

The fact that I don’t have someone to spend it with is irrelative; the real problem is that there is too much expectation revolving around this holiday. For so many years I waited in anticipation for the fateful day, requiring some token of love to feel like I had some worth. And when I didn’t receive what I thought was appropriate I would spiral down into the depths of despair. Thanks but no thanks, I will pass this time, I think I might try the beef instead of the lamb.

The problem is I have always seemed to make a big mess of anything related to emotions, I sometimes feel like a child desperately trying to hold unto the lead of some dog, straining to control all the feelings I have within me. Sometimes its better to just leave the dog at home, and not have to deal with those issues.
So that’s what I am doing now, I know I am not strong enough so I’m leaving all those things behind closed doors, while I build the strength to try again.

Never, never, never give up!

2011-02-06T03:04:00.000-08:00

We all know that the human will is stronger then anything that can be thrown at it. But that doesn’t mean that our personal will is. We have the capability to rise above, but we are flawed by our own nature to give in.

It’s like the New Years resolution to loose a few stubborn pounds, or quit smoking. These are relatively easy and realistic goals but so often we cant seem to follow through on them.

Because it’s easy to fail, its almost comfortable to admit to yourself that you cant change. That you are the way you are and you tried but just couldn’t make it, and why cant people just accept you for the way that you are?

But its not about other peoples acceptance, its about you accepting yourself. And you can’t lie to yourself, you can’t pretend that you are happy with the way things are.

I am not saying that you wont fail if you try hard enough, sometimes you will fail the first and even the second or third time round no matter how hard you try. But instead of giving in, just get up dust yourself off and continue trying to scale that wall.

This is for Mom

2011-02-05T11:38:00.000-08:00

2011-02-01T10:23:00.000-08:00

Wow, it’s the first of February already!
Seems like January flew by, everything has happened so quickly.

Last Sunday was such a wonderful day; The sun was shining brilliantly for the first time in what seemed like forever and it just happened to be on my day off.
Even though it was minus 8 and the roads were covered in ice I couldn’t stay inside on such a glorious day, so I took out the trusty “pony”. To clarify things we aren’t talking about an actual equine but a miniscule little bicycle, which looks like it should have training wheels.

I looked so comical with my knees hitting my chin every time I pedaled, but such inconveniences are nothing compared to the feeling of getting out of your life for a day, and enjoying simple pleasures like watching the pigeons fly in the city square, eating icecream from a cafe and sitting on a fortress to watch the river churn by.
I biked for 3 hours and frightened the Serban people with my off-key renditions of whatever song happened to be on my play list. Then I came home and while I was in energy mode did my workout before cooking myself the greasiest meal imaginable! I had saved my two eggs for the weekend and made my self a massive hash brown with eggs, grilled sandwiches and for dessert Nutella! Which of course had to go with some good beer and a movie.

Over the weekend the temperatures have dropped even more and today it was torture to go out on the bikes. I had an accident on the bike I usually use on Friday last week, I hit a patch of ice and punctured the tire and it didn’t get fixed till today. At first this was a bad thing but it turned into a little miracle.

This morning I went out with Anna for some appointments that we had with a few companies, which went very well by the way, and on the way home we stopped by the bike repair shop. Anna had met the man before to fix the same popped tire and he was very nice. We were able to spend some time with him and explain to him about what we were doing in Serbia, the projects that we run etc. In the end he changed the whole wheel for free as it had been slightly bent in a previous accident involving a car… The brakes had not been working either and I thought that they needed to be tightened so I asked him if he could do that as well. Turns out that the brake pads were worn down to metal, which explains why I had to use my feet to stop the bike from flying into some hapless pedestrian. Anyway he changed them all for free.
During our conversation I mentioned that I was looking into buying a bike while I stayed here, but that I didn’t want to spend so much money as it would only be for a few months that I would use it. He then looks at me and says, I have the perfect bike for you. Turns out his sister is selling her bike, an 18 gear city bike with a back seat so I can put on a child’s seat for Claudia. Its in perfect condition and he promised to service it for the duration of my stay. All for the bargain price of 3000 dinars. Sounds like allot? Well it isn’t its 30 euros! God is good :D

Serbia

2011-01-29T04:54:00.000-08:00

I have been in Serbia for a few weeks now, so I thought it might be a good idea to write a little update on how things are going so far.
It’s a big change from what I am used to in so many ways, but I know that in order to grow as a person I need to challenge myself and experience new things.

Claudia is very happy, which is such a relief to me as one of my biggest concerns was that she would miss her Dad while we were staying here. For the moment she is so busy having fun with the other kids, that it hasn’t been a problem.
I am also very busy, I don’t get much time to feel lonely and that’s a good thing as it’s hard to adjust from always having someone around to not being able to get help or comfort from that source anymore.

My job here is very different from what I was involved with back in Ireland, and I feel good about the change and the things that I am learning. Serbia is cold right now, but it wont be long before Spring will peek its head around the corner and the whole country will transform itself.

I want to start driving here, as it’s almost necessary in order to get around with a kid on your day off, without squeezing into over crowded buses. I drove for the first time a few days ago and it was an experience, not only was I constantly grabbing for the gears on the wrong side but the traffic here is nothing like the orderly lines you see in “civilized” countries. The drivers are very impatient and a bit too liberal with their horns.

In contrast to the drivers, there seems to be some strange transformation that happens behind the wheel, the people here are very friendly and young and old alike love to practice their English. I have been going out with a colleague, Anna, to various companies for sponsorship of our humanitarian programs here. It has been an interesting experience, between her basic Serbian and my nonexistent vocabulary we have stumbled into the most bizarre circumstances. Nothing like ignorance to give you faith. But most people we have encountered have been more then happy to speak with us and practice their “how do you dos”

The things I miss the most right now are being able to drive to the store on Sunday and buying steak and Port for dinner. Things are very expensive here compared to the wages and things like meat and cheese is a luxury. I feel so spoiled when I think about the mountains of eggs, cheese and meat we have in our fridge back home in Ireland, and being able to eat as much of it as I want.
Instead the humble cabbage and various legumes are on the table almost every day here, and to think that we would throw away cabbage at home!
But don’t worry about me loosing weight, on the contrary I think I have put on a few pounds, as to compensate for the lack of protein I stuff myself on bread, which is thankfully always on hand…

Giving out free books at the Roma school in Novi Sad

2011-01-23T13:29:00.000-08:00

Some things in life will just never change.

You can try as hard as you can, but like the gravitational pull of the moon the tide will always retreat and you will be stranded with nothing but sand between your toes where the ocean once flowed.
You are left where you started off, empty.

It doesn’t matter what you say or do, the past is one of those things that just cant be changed. There is no magic pill, potion or time machine that can fix things or put them back where they belong.

I know people who say never regret the past, but how can you do that? There are so many things that I wish I had not said, done or felt. How can you fix things? How can you catch all the feathers that are floating out the window of your heart?

2011-01-20T02:47:00.000-08:00

Do you feel sometimes like you haven’t quite gotten there yet?

I saw this picture yesterday and it really impressed upon me a feeling of solidarity with this egg. We are all born in a hostile world where the end of the game is death. From the day that we are born our time is numbered, and like that egg we are born into a world that is broken and thirsty.

What we thirst after various from people and culture, some people long for love and acceptance others success and power. But we are all equal in our longing.
There is nobody that doesn’t have a desire or yearns for a purpose to his or her existence.

It can be about working every day to pay the bills so you can go out to eat at that new restaurant and buy that cute dress you saw at TopShop.

It can be about changing diapers all day and saving up for your kid’s college so that you can feel like you have left something behind in the form of new life.

It can be about traveling the world and experiencing all that this planet has to offer.

It can be about holding hands at the bus stop and getting dreamy eyed at love notes and planning your wedding day.

These may all feel right at some point in your life, but sooner or later that little feeling of discontentment will creep in and you solve it by traveling to a new place, having another baby which will some how mend things, or getting a new love.

I know that God has a plan for each of us, it may take many shapes or forms and when you find it everything makes sense.
I know I haven’t found it yet, I don’t want to be forever searching, but I know it’s out there.

Have you found your purpose?

Mountains

2011-01-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a dream. Are dreams symbolic? I don't know but it seemed to symbolize my life. I wasn't climbing a mountain or pioneering some jungle, instead I was looking for a mountain to climb.

So many times we describe life as a uphill struggle, but often times I think that is untrue. I think that we are wandering along a flat barren plain searching in vain for that symbolic slope that will give us some sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Its hard to walk on a plain, and in some ways its even more so because you have no way to chart your progress, only when you are climbing can you notice the distance you have covered.

In my dream I found a mountain but I was unsure of which way to proceed, I was making a plan of how to tackle the mountain and was getting ready to embark on my journey. I felt elation at having found the mountain and was mentally preparing myself for the accent.
Why was I climbing the mountain? Who knows but it felt good, it felt like something worth doing, and I hope that when I come upon my mountain in this life I will look forward to the climb.

2011-01-05T04:15:00.000-08:00

So here is a recap of last years New Years Resolutions.

- I want to complete the 10 day master cleanse.

I managed to not die and while I don’t think I will ever do it again it was a different experience.

- I want to travel to at least three countries preferably one I have never been to before.  

I traveled out of the country seven different times this year, to five different countries. One of them was Ukraine, which I have never been to before.

- I want to play more soccer.

I managed to not only play more soccer I lost both of my big toenails due to that beautiful sport, so unfortunately I had to hang up my cleats and admit that some things you just cant wrap up in a bandage and pretend it doesn’t hurt.

 - I want to start horse riding again.

Sigh… Unfortunately that didn’t work out.  

- I want to love more. 

What was I thinking?

- I want to teach Claudia to read.  

I have almost given up on my little Monkey, I am hoping in Serbia where she will go to kindergarten she can get some good peer pressure.

- I want to get a navel piercing.

There is no excuse for this one, I had the opportunity twice but it was just before a holiday and I couldn’t bear the thought of having pain and not being able to jump around.

 - I want to learn all the photographer jargon so I can impress ppl with my awesome knowledge about f-stops, ppi's and such.  

I have learnt more about my camera and have now upgraded to another higher model, so there is a whole lot more to learn ☺.

- I want to try to complete at least another chapter in the book that I have been writing for the past 3 years.  

Fat chance.

- I want to learn a new language.  

Does learning a few more words in Italian count?

- I want to learn how to use Photoshop and InDesign professionally.  

Okay so I have a excuse for this one, my hard drive crashed and I lost the programs…

Now for this New Years resolution, pretty simple, actually I can sum it up in four words:

Don't be a pushover

2010-12-26T09:02:00.001-08:00

Contradiction

Is it possible to be a living contradiction?
Is it healthy?

I do not trust people, and yet I make excuses in order to trust.

I do not want to feel and yet I feel too much.

I am unafraid and yet as frightened as a child.

I am painfully honest yet I lie every day.

Who am I?

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T04:46:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas has come, we are older and wiser I hope, although that last point could be discussed.
The Traditional family photo was taken yesterday and it took quite a few shots and tears before we got one that was halfway presentable (I would like to pretend that was a exaggeration but I am afraid it was not).

This year we had a real white Christmas with proper snow and ice to keep us all entertained on the roads. Claudia made her first snow angel and learnt that yellow snow is in fact not “special”. I learnt how simple things like fluffy snowflakes can make you feel warm inside.

Merry Christmas.

Christmas

2010-12-22T03:47:00.000-08:00

Its that time of year again. You know that time when we string out the lights bake up a storm and have an excuse for drinking alcohol before three o’clock. That time also know as the festive period, the happy holidays or just traditional Christmas.

For as long as I could remember Christmas meant living-rooms that were converted into bedrooms, mattresses stacked against the wall and a coat rack that bravely tried to hold up the extra dozen coats haphazardly flung on its brave skinny arms. It was about monopoly games and black and white matinees, moms cinnamon rolls and mulled wine.

Siblings would come from far and wide, the braver ones bringing their girlfriends, never realizing the damaging effect it could have on their relationship, hugs were exchanged presents put under the tree and coffee was always on the menu.
Inevitably in any large family gathering there was always some friction, like a board game that was wiped clean by an angry arm a snowball fight that ended in an all out tussle and a steadily growing pile of dirty socks and dishes.

Christmas Day was the culminating point, by that time everyone would have arrived and the events were generally the “same procedure as last year” with perhaps just a slight alteration in the expected tripping over the stuffed tigers head. (Anyone who has not seen that sketch has obviously never lived in Norway)

On that day was the obligatory family photo that would go on for at least an hour as Dad tried in vain to get everyone looking, and most importantly smiling, at the camera. But there was always someone who blinked or scratched his or her nose and the ordeal dragged on.

After the turkey was roasted and we all dutifully paid it homage at the table came the most exciting part of Christmas, the gift giving. I remember the year Dad decided we would not attack the tree like savages but instead one person would pick out a present, read the name and then give it to the recipient, who would in turn pick the next present.

It was one of the longest hours of my life. I smiled, muttered pleasantries and feigned excitement while I desperately waited for my name to be called. Such torture should never be inflicted on any child.
That was also the year Dad bought toy guns for the now grown boys so that they could finally experience what had been denied them when growing up; the chance to role-play as James Bond or John Wayne. That night there was a moonlit shootout as plastic pellets bounced off tree trunks and the realization that boys never do grow up was instilled in me.

Every year we overdosed on Dads idea of a good family film, yes we Lykins all remember, “It’s a wonderful Life”, “The Bishops Wife”, “White Christmas”, “A Christmas Carol” and “Oliver Twist” quite “vividly”. The only difference would be that some years they would come out with a new version of one of the above movies and so we could all sit down without having memorized the movie before hand.

But that was all part of Christmas watching the same movies, eating the same food with the same people at the same time of year. And I guess we were a little insane, like Albert Einstein once said Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well I cant say we necessarily “expected” the results to be any different, but we certainly had short term memory loss because we always seemed to remember with fond memories what at the time was a right mad house. But even though we did do the same thing over and over again and the results always equaled “100” there were so many possible formulas that led us to that result, so we had different kinds of fun along the way, and no Christmas was ever like the one before.

Now we are all grown and are spending Christmas in different countries with different people, but I can still remember Christmas like it was when I was young, it was fire dried gloves, and wet snowsuits, leather jackets and cigarette smoke, cardamom and cloves, turkey and mashed potatoes, sledding and snowball fights, Bing Crosby and Chess. But most of all it was Family.

Growing Up.

2010-12-15T03:49:00.000-08:00

I revisited Norway last week, it always seems to have the same effect on me. As if no matter how many years go by it will always stay the same, a land frozen in time. The reason I was there was to prepare a shipment of humanitarian aid that was being sent to the Czech Republic and then on to Serbia, but for me it also held a different reason.

It was quite literally frozen when I arrived; the trees were coated in a frosty blanket and powdered sugar snow drifted lazily down from the overcast sky. At times it was hard to see where the sky met the land, the two seemed to have melded in some bizarre symbiosis.

I was dressed inappropriately for the weather, my tennis shoes were soon soaked and my extremities frozen. I had forgotten what it felt like to lose coordination in your hands and I fumbled clumsily at the zipper to my coat when we arrived at the storage room.

Once inside it was like stepping back in time, half the room was filled with our past life. And sitting there among a pile of cardboard boxes, like my personal kryptonite, were the diaries chronicling my past.

There is nothing like the awkward ramblings of a teenage girl that can make you feel insecure an
d vulnerable again. I could feel the emotions as strongly ten years later as if it were only yesterday that I had penned the words.

Memories both good and bad assailed me as I turned the worn pages and looked into my heart.

I relived the frustration in learning a new language and being an outsider in a private world.

I felt the devastation in not owning a pair of bellbottoms with striped legwarmers and being certain that they were the key to my happiness.

I cringed at the humiliation in not being able to afford the bus in winter, and having to walk the miles to school.

But I also smiled as I read of the camaraderie I had with my brother, the days spent exploring the forests, drawing maps and naming ridges and lakes.

I remembered the joy I felt as a parent at the girl’s soccer team causally gave me my first pair of cleats, when they noticed I turned up each day for practice without them.

There were the winter days when I would walk to school before the sun rose and return after it had set, but with the moon shinning so brightly it lit up the snow and seemed to make the world glow with magic. Those were the nights I would lie in the field with my brother and talk about nothing and everything surrounded by snow and covered by a blanket of stars so majestic it left us in awe.

There was the long Nordic summer where the sun never set and when I taught my friend how to gallop. We rode bareback and sat double as we went deep into the woods and then I jumped off and gave the horse a slap. She fell off about a hundred meters later, but simply brushed off her pants and got right back on. I loved her more then anyone in the world.

I laughed when I read about the New Years when I climbed unto the roof of the house and sat there in rebellion at not being allowed to go to a party. My Mom in retaliation locked the window and I sat there for an hour trying to figure out which side of the house held the most snow to cushion my fall.

I read about my first job that I got one summer in order to pay for a class trip, I hated getting up at 5:00 during school holiday but it was a job that I had found on my own and I never felt prouder then when I held my first check.

At that time a crush was surely love and it made me smile condescendingly at the girl I once was and the dreams I once dreamed.

I don’t dream those dreams anymore I prefer to live, but we all used to dream once, before we realized that guys at 14 are not attracted to the one who is good at math but the girl who has the largest adolescent breasts and throws the party with bootlegged moonshine.

I had a wonderful childhood, it wasn’t always easy but I am glad it wasn’t, otherwise I would not be here today. If I were always accepted I wouldn’t know what it felt like to be alone. If I had everything I wanted I wouldn’t understand the feeling of lack. If I had all the love I could have asked for I wouldn’t sympathize with the unloved.

I left my dairies, I had planned on bringing them back with me, but I realized that I didn’t want to. I had left that girl behind.

I had grown up.

2010-12-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

If I can change the world, by loosing my own.
If I can brave the tide and face the world alone.
If I can turn my back and forget the pain and hurt.
If I can forgive the wrongs and instead think on what I've learnt.
If I can remember what was and not what could have been.

I can but only through thee.

One thing off the bucket list!

2010-10-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know it should have been the sparkling sea and awesome food, but the highlight of my trip to Itay was something a little less natural and more man made, but oh it was beautiful...
The sound the ferrari would make when you revved the engine was amazing and the feeling of going from 40 to 120 in a second was mind blowing. The friends we stayed with lived in the mountains so we couldn't go any faster because of the curves, but just that speed would literally throw you back against the seat, it didn't help that the driver is president of the go-kart association in Ireland and thinks he is schumacher in the making, it made for a thrilling ride!

Cakes!

2010-09-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

The last week has been full of birthdays, and when there are birthdays there is baking!
Here are a few pics of the cakes we made!

You spin my head right round, right round!

2010-07-24T01:46:00.000-07:00

XD Musings

2010-07-21T06:17:00.001-07:00

Well the XD that I waited three years for is over. Yet another reminder of how fast time goes by. Strange how things ended up, I missed the first Core in 07 and by a twist of fate ended up in the class of 2010 the final one they say.

I wasn't really looking forward to it, well that wouldn't really be true I was, but at the same time I didn't know more then two people and the rest only by name, so I felt like it would be first day in school all over again. (never want to live through that again trust me)
But it was so much better then I thought, everyone was so nice and I have to honestly say there wasn't a single person who I didn't feel comfortable with.
I had a good time, too good of a time, because when it came time to leave it was harder then I thought it would be.
But life is about goodbyes and everything good comes to an end. Its the circle of life and we end up playing the same tune over and over again.
the XD is now another folder of pictures on my Hard drive that I will go through from time to time and remember...and smile.

Visit from my sisters!

2010-07-06T09:06:00.001-07:00

This is so overdue that I am almost ashamed to blog about it a full two months after the event, but my excuse is that I sold my laptop and only now have received my new one and so haven't had the time to post anything.

But to make a long story short my two beautiful sisters Lisa and Nicky came to Ireland to see us, we had an amazing time with them and my sister Nicky's two sister in laws that came along.

The highlight of their visit was a two day trip down to Cork where we stayed at a lighthouse on a cliff. It was an amazing drive down and one of the most peaceful and awe inspiring places I have seen. We got to see wild seals with their young diving below the cliffs and even got to go to a traditional Irish fiddle festival where we stayed up till the wee hours of the morning being serenaded by deep Irish baritones and drinking Irish car bombs (best drink in the World!)

Here are some pictures of the happy event! I love and miss you guys!

Light House we stayed at.

My beautiful sisters and sister in law

Nicky and I

Fire and Ice!

2010-04-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

Trip to Howth

2010-03-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday we went to a little peninsula about 30 minutes away called Howth, it was one of the most beautiful places I had seen in Ireland, there is a quaint little harbor with fishing boats and a gorgeous view of a rocky island about five kilometers off shore. But the best part was the seals, great big blubbery giants that floated in the harbor begging scraps off the tourists and entertaining us with their race against the seagulls to grab the fish tossed to them.
After watching our fill we ambled through a Sunday market with vendors in their stalls rubbing their hands against the cold as they sold home baked pastries, fresh fish and best of all Felafel! Which I did not hesitate to stand in a ridiculously long queue for.
But the highlight was the drive home, we decided to drive around the far side of the peninsula and ended up winding our way to the top of a rocky hillside that ended in a short hike to one of the most magnificent views it was a 360 degree feast for the eyes, of deep blue water islands and the city of Dublin in the far distance.
All in all a most satisfying day out.

Ireland

2010-02-21T05:52:00.000-08:00

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

Well there are many many things I would like to do this year, and I thought it would be fun to list all of them and at the end of this year (assuming I remember) I can see how many I have ticked off!

- I want to complete the 10 day master cleanse.
- I want to travel to at least three countries preferably one I have never been to before.
- I want to play more soccer.
- I want to start horse riding again.
- I want to love more.
- I want to teach Claudia to read.
- I want to get a navel piercing.
- I want to learn all the photographer jargon so I can impress ppl with my awesome knowledge about f-stops, ppi's and such.
- I want to try to complete at least another chapter in the book that I have been writing for the past 3 years.
- I want to learn a new language.
- I want to learn how to use Photoshop and InDesign professionally.

And there are so many other things that I am sure I will remember later and can add to the list!

Happy New Years!!!

2010-01-01T05:31:00.000-08:00

So we decided to be different and went clubbing the night before New Years and have a party at home on the 31st.
I suppose we didn't want to alert the authorities to the fact that there are some strange demented party freaks that live in town and so discretion was in order.
The club we went to on the 30th was ok, but to be honest there is only so much trance you can shake your booty to, so it was nice to have a party where we actually got to chose the music, assuming Angelo our resident DJ was feeling charitable.

Turns out New Years Eve this year was special, not only was it a full moon it was a BLUE full moon for any of us who are not astronomers it means that it is the second full moon in one month. And to top it all off it was a partial lunar eclipse! Just keeps getting better doesn't it? So while the moon geeks were wetting their pants and actually out on New Years Eve, the rest of us took a quick peek snapped some shots and then got on with the rest of the night.

One of the things we did when the clock struck midnight was light these beautiful lanterns, they floated off into the sky and it was so beautiful, and amazing how far and high they drifted.

Musings

2009-12-29T10:56:00.001-08:00

Don't you hate the expression "Thats just the way I am"
Sounds like a big fat excuse doesn't it?
People lie to make themselves look better, they do things to make themselves feel better and then they say that is just the way they are, they cant help it because deep down inside themselves there is something that they just cant control...
Hmmmm....
I'm not buying it.

I think I am kinda beautiful it is the way I am but there are some times when I feel downright ugly, so the way you are is subject to personal interpretation. Why do I feel ugly sometimes? Well maybe I haven't slept well or ate too much or just haven't had time to make my hair ergo: circumstances effect my perceptions of the way I am.

So wouldn't it be logical to assume that circumstances effect the way you "are" as well?

You are only what you let yourself be.

If you cant handle alcohol don't drink it
If you are a notorious slut don't flirt with the opposite sex if you cant "with-strain" yourself.
If you cant help eating unhealthily stop buying junk food.

Get up and GET OVER IT!

I used to be a nymphomaniac so I had a breast reduction, got pregnant and settled down with a short italian, I changed the circumstances and thus "the way I am"

"True story". :)

Moon

2009-12-27T09:09:00.001-08:00

Finally got a shot of the Moon that I am happy with, rejoice with me!

Merry Christmas

2009-12-26T16:13:00.001-08:00

Christmas photos.

2009-12-26T15:18:00.000-08:00

This Christmas we had a 13 kg Turkey! You have no idea how big that is until you have to squeeze it into the oven!
It came out marvelously though, today I put 4 kg of sliced turkey in the freezer and yet we still had enough on the bird to have lunch and dinner with what was left after Christmas Dinner.
Well other then that, the highlight of my Christmas was kissing Santa Claus, even if he did look a little unappreciative of my affection. oh well what can I say the man is old enough to be my grandpa, wears red which was SO last year, makes toys all year and hangs out with reindeer... He obviously is lacking in appreciation for the finer things is life...

Why?

2009-12-14T08:21:00.000-08:00

Why do stolen waters have to be sweet?
Why cant they taste sour?
Why do we have to enjoy doing things that are wrong?
Why is something better because its done in secret?
Why cant people just practice restraint?

And why the hell haven't I gotten any sweet waters?

I'm feeling VERY left out of the trend.

Random.

2009-12-10T08:19:00.000-08:00

New Camera

2009-12-05T09:38:00.000-08:00

So since I need to find something to write about and I am feeling rather chuffed with my latest purchase I decided to post about it.

As many of you know Angelo and I (or more correctly ANGELO) have a D80. which has pretty much been uncharted territory for me as I am terrified of changing a setting and calling down the wrath of Angelo...
Well I have secretly dreamed of being in the photographers club, clandestinely picturing myself sauntering down a lane looking terribly important with 3 kilos worth of equipment strapped to my neck carting a portable suitcase with an additional 20 kilos of lenses, flashes, tripods accessories etc etc...

Well that dream has now become a rather tangible reality.
Yesterday I was posting an ad on a Irish website where people can buy and sell their used or new unwanted items, anything from golf balls to elephants.
After posting my ad, I decided to type in Nikon into the search engine, up popped an ad posted 4 minutes previously of someone selling their Nikon D100 two lenses and extras for 150 euros. I chuckled a litlle thinking the poor guy must have mistyped the price, but decided to give him a call, just in case.... Much to my surprise he said that 150 was indeed the price and mentioned that there was another lens, speed flash, external battery pack, UV lens, case and all in perfect condition.
needless to say I picked it up an hour later as fortunately it was close by, when we picked it up the guy said he had been getting calls non stop but that he had already promised it to me, phew! BTW It was all in Puuuuurfect condition. :)
So at home I looked up the used prices on the items I had bought on amazon.co.uk, this is what I found:

Nikon MB-D100 Battery Pack For D100: 109 pounds
Nikon Af 70-300/4.0-5.6 G: 108 pounds
Nikon 60Mm F2.8D Af Micro Nikkor Lens: 319.99 pounds
Nikon 24-85 F2.8-4D Af Zoom Nikkor: 578.97 pounds
Nikon D100: 212 pounds
Nikon Sb-50Dx Speedlight: 79.99 pounds
UV lens: 20 pounds
Bag: 15 pounds

total: 1442.95 pounds

So basically I got all this at a KILLER price of 150 euros!
The man who sold it was sweet, obviously had no need for the money, was switching over to another brand and just wanted to offload the old stuff! WOOHOO!!!

And here it is pictured with external battery pack! (which by the way has a microphone so I can record myself squealing with delight)

On Love and Life

2009-10-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

To many people love is like soccer; they run passionatly after an object only to kick it once they have reached it.

This quote makes me wonder what Love is really all about, is it really a gift or just some hormone induced feeling that we run after hoping that somehow it will make our lives more meaningful?

I can truly say that I have not found its made my life more meaningful, complicated yes, painful yes, difficult yes, comfortable yes, pleasant yes. But meaningful?

What is meaningful?

I guess it depends on how you define that word, my dictionary states that

meaningful:

• having a serious, important, or useful quality or purpose : making our lives rich and meaningful.
• communicating something that is not directly expressed : meaningful glances and repressed passion.
• Logic having a recognizable function in a logical language or other sign system.

Lets take the first example which seems the most pertinent, this states that in order for love to be "meaningful" it has to have a useful quality or purpose.

What useful quality has love given me?

Did it help me open a can of tuna quicker? Perhaps solve the problem of hanging space in my closet, ? No?
Well then surely love must help warm the bed at night? Well yes but couldn't the problem be just as easily solved by a good heater? And it most certainly wouldn't kick you at night.

True, so then what is it that makes Love so irreplaceable, that modern appliances cannot take its place?

Beats me, but it is nice at times isn't it? Even if it is just a hormone.

Love One Another

2009-10-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping;
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

We have moved!

2009-09-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

Oooooooooooooour House is a very very very fine house
With one cat and a dog….

So our move is now behind us, phew… But what a move and what a house!
We are now living in a multi-millionaires home complete with cottage, pond, tennis court, sun room, outbuildings and a gorgeous flared staircase (think Gone with the Wind).
It has defiantly been an improvement on our last house, and being 15 minutes away from the country's biggest shopping mall doesn’t hurt either.

Sun room with tennis court behind

Grand staircase

I love big tables, this one fits 12.

Angelo's Birthday

2009-09-21T04:18:00.000-07:00

So I have to post pictures of the meal I made for angelos birthday as I am rather chuffed about it hehe.
He didn’t get the traditional cake and ice cream instead I decided to make him a five course meal.
He wanted something different, and since I love to cook different kinds of food I decided to make something I had Never made before.
I settled on Turkish as I love their style of cooking and I picked the following:

Borek –appetizer - feta cheese and parsley in filo pastry.

Umak corbasi –soup- yogurt and mint soup with dumplings.

Eksili Kofte – main course – rice meatballs in sour sauce served with pita bread.

İç – Salad – tangy bulgar salad with feta, herbs, cucumber, onions, garlic, lemon and paprika.

Baklava – desert – pistachios in layers of filo pastry, covered in a sweet syrup.

My sister Kathy helped me and we started at 3 and finished at 8, as the filo pastry took Forever to layer and brush. It came out pretty good though and since there were no complaints except of the overstretched belly kind, I think they all liked it too!

The Borek was a real trip to make, i think it was too time consuming as the filo pastry is tricky to work with, It was nice, but next time I would make them larger with more filling rather then do lots of small ones individually.
The meatballs were my favorite as they had a kind of sour lemony taste, and was a nice change from the traditional meatballs in red sauce. They also had grains of rice in the meatballs instead of breadcrumbs, and it would cook inside the meat, this was a novel idea and something I want to experiment with more in the future.
The salad was Angelo's favorite but that was the one recipe I cheated on as I have made it several times before and it is also my favorite salad.
The soup was interesting, perfect as a starter as the mint was refreshing, but not with real substance, it was more of a richly flavored water with dumplings, hehe. Great as a starter not so great as a meal.
Baklava is one of my favorite deserts and although it didn't come out like the kind you buy in the store it was till fun to make and tasted delicious. I put extra lemon in the syrup that you pour over the baklava and I thought it tasted nice that way.
The Baklava took the longest too make as the syrup has to soak in the filo pastry for four hours, and the layering of the filo pastry took about and hour and then one more hour of cooking, so its a long and time consuming dish.

The Night of the Living Dead

2009-08-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

The Gymathon is finally over. I say finally because as things stand now if I never hear another “invigorating” drum beat, or see a treadmill and energy drink it would be too soon.
Twentyfour hours and 5000 Calories have disappeared and I now feel like I can relate to road kill.

The day started off late for me I was scheduled to be the second team in to the gym and so didn’t get up till 8:00. After getting the food ready for the 100 people at the barbeque, chopping onions marinating chicken etc, we left at 11:30.
At 13:00 we were at the gym and it was a quick change into our sweats (which I have now banished to my laundry basket never to be seen again for at least a week I vow)

From 13:00 to 16:30 it was warming up on the treadmill, doing some light biking and taking breaks to fill out receipts or man the desk when needed.
At 16:30 Sam and I started to set up the barbeque as people were already starting to eye each other’s thighs in a way that just didn’t seem kosher. The die-hard marathoners had been going non-stop since 09:30 and looked like they had gone through a few sweatshirts already.

By 17:00 the massive barbeque was already pumping out burgers and it was just in time as Red Bull showed up and started making sure everyone know just how beneficial Red Bull was and made sure we took plenty to find out for ourselves.
By 18:30 we had loads of donated burgers, sausages and chicken handed out and we were ready to close up shop, by this time the gym was packed to bursting and the heat was like a sauna. Red bull left us with several cases of drink for the night shift and then left us with a screech of their convertibles tires, (those cars are too cute!)

At 18:00 a deejay had arrived and the gym started to break out into clusters of salsa dancers and even Irish folk dance, (led by Sam, with us girls valiantly following his “experienced” lead).
I had started to exercise in earnest at 19:00 with a break at 21:30, to announce the prizes, I alternated between the tread mill, bike and rowing machine. Leaving the more “relaxing” weights and various machines for your glutes, thighs, hamstrings, etc till when I was more tired.

At 22:00 several people left for home, leaving the two Sams, Josefine, Anj and Joe left with me to pump it out.
By 02:00 we had lost more then half our group and at 03:00 only me and Sam were left slowly doing abs, or biceps staring in almost hypnotizing concentration at the mirrors that lined the wall.

I had to take plenty of stretching breaks almost falling asleep with my hand wrapped around my foot and head on my knee. Thankfully they put on the Rocky series so we just needed to watch Balboa get hit on the face over and over again to motivate us, and it did help to pass time on the treadmill or bicycle as you didn’t seem to feel the hours pass. 03:00- 05:00 was the absolute worst I gave a totally new meaning to the term sleepwalking while on the treadmill. I found myself having to count to ten over and over again, to keep myself concentrated, as my mind would just slip like water through my fingers. This was probably because I walked uphill for over 1.5 hours at one time and repetition just makes your mind die. After walking for that long, I got off the treadmill and almost fainted the world started spinning so fast, I had to hold on to the bar and just take a few breaths. By then I was so out of it I walked into the men’s locker room to fill up my water bottle, and after opening the door and seeing two guys, one of them with just a tiny towel around his privates, I just stood there. I just didn’t understand why they were in the woman’s changing room, ha!

After 05:30 though things picked up and by 06:00 I didn’t feel so bad, I just alternated between stretching and some random machine just to keep from falling asleep, I found that the only way to stay awake during that long night was to “keep moving”. Originally we were going to leave at 10:00 but at 07:00 all the others who had taken naps, had gotten up already and so we decided to just hit the road, as there was no real reason for us to stay.

So at 07:30 we started home getting there in record time at 08:00 something and finally passing out in bed. A full twentyfour hour circle! Never again.
But it was very successful and we raised lots of support for both our charity and Special Olympics in Carlow, so it was worth it.

Its almost time...

2009-08-17T14:25:00.000-07:00

so one more day to go and then it will be Gymathon time! I have asked to be there the full 24 hours as I want to try and see if I can make it... You know there is nothing like sweaty bodies and hooded sleepy eyes to make you feel alive, ha!
Well so far things have been lining up just great, we have gotten several butchers to donate meat, half the town to donate prizes (seriously guys I don't know what to do with all these gift vouchers and bric a brac!) and best of all Red Bull is sending down their wiings team! WooHoo, Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiiiiiiings, so feeling pretty confident about the wakey wakey part.

Sam and I are in charge of the barbeque so please please pray for good weather, the forecast is rain but where there is prayer there are Miracles!

I will let you all know how it went!

Goodbye Sean and Ann

2009-08-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

After almost five years of working together Sean and Ann are moving to another country.
I will really miss their talents and part they played in my life.
I love you Sean and Ann!!!!

Gymathon time Again

2009-07-30T08:48:00.000-07:00

So we are holding another Gymathon next month in the same gym which we held one last year in October.

This one however will be on a much grander scale then the previous one. We have gotten the experience needed from the last one, and know what areas need work, and now are attempting something on an entirely different level.

Thankfully we are giving ourselves allot more time to plan this event, as not only will there by a 24 hour Gymathon but also a presentation at the local mall, with different sports groups doing demonstrations such as martial arts and we will also be sectioning off a block around the gym where we will hold a barbeque!
All this will happen at the same time, so it will take some planning not to mention man power.

50 % of the proceeds will go toward our center's relocation to Dublin, and the other 50% will go toward the well deserving local Special Olympics branch in Carlow, towards new equipment in their gym!

And the miracles are already pouring in, on the first day of this project we managed to get the printing of the flyers and banners donated as well as a brand new barbeque worth 350 euros!

So we know that where the Lord leads he provides and we just need to go down the path he is laying before us.

The spinning Ring of fortune...

2009-07-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

So today for the first time I did the ring test. Basically what this means is that, someone holds a ring strung on a a string over your palm (I have heard of other versions such as over your wrist), and watches the movements to determine how many children you will have, and what sex they will be.
The Ring starts to move either in a spiral movement which represents a girl or in a pendulum (side to side) movement which represents a boy. If you have more then one child then the ring will still in between movements before starting again. When the Ring is finished it will just stay still on the string.

First several people in the home without children did it and we had a good laugh, until the Ring accurately told us of all the children my Mother has had including the order of their gender.
Needless to say I was curious to try and the ring foretold that I would have two girls and then one boy, before it stayed still.
Angelo was next to try and I held my breath wondering if he would have ten children versus my three (divorce papers would have been served hehe). But amazingly enough the Ring foretold the exact sequence that I had, Phew...

So it looks like my family will be extended in the future!

Last night in Savannah.

2009-07-16T03:40:00.000-07:00

After Denver we spent three more days in Savannah, we got to go to the beach and see dolphins, and laze around in the heat.
The last night which was a Saturday, Terry and Christina invited us out to the club where Terry and Angelo's brother Dj every weekend. Havi watched the baby for us and so we went to the hottest club in town.

We had such a good time, and I never had such great martinis! I always though Martinis were dry and with an olive, but boy was i wrong Martini is just a mixed vodka drink and we had pear, passionfruit and even champagne martinis, that last one was my favorite.
We even got to see a celebrity, turns out some famous actor was there and Chris got a picture with him, don't ask me his name because I cant remember for the life of me, but he played in I Robot with Will Smith, and was surrounded in the private lounge by his staff. But since the owner of the club is Chris and Terrys friend that wasn't a problem.

At three in the morning we stumbled home only to be dragged out of bed a 6:00 am for the four hour drive to the airport, God that was NOT fun, but the price we must pay to have a good time!
22 hours later we were home again in ireland, greeted by the wind and a sunny sky, (thank God).

Denver, home to the wild mustang.

2009-07-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

After three fabulous days in the desert of Nevada we flew to the foothills of the Rockies, Denver, Colorado.
It was amazing, the prairies stretched out as far as you could see with the dark siluite of the Rockies forming the perfect backdrop. it was former plains Indian country and we saw deer, jackrabbits, prairie dogs and the famous buffalo roaming the plains.
The weather was cooler then Nevada and during the four days we spent there we experienced a window rattling thunderstorm which was nothing like the soft mist we get in Ireland, this was run for cover or you will be blown away kind of a rainstorm. The lightning was pretty impressive though, we saw it as we raced it driving home, the sky behind us was seething and streaks of lightning followed by crashing thunder painted the scene.
What amazed me the most about this country though was the way the sky seemed never to end. It was like it was somehow bigger there, no matter where you turned it just kept on going from one horizon to the other.

My family were so nice, my sister Nicky put us up and we loved every minute of our stay there, we lived like college students on beer and pizza (yum), and watched the kids run around like little indians in the back yard.
4th of July was great as well, Claudia got her first pony ride and loved the fireworks, the next day we had a big barbecue and the whole family crowded in to Ann's house where we ate elk burgers and organic sausages (they were great by the way).
Of course a Lykins reunion would not be complete without at least one night of drunken revelry and we did not disappoint, half of us don't remember what happened and the other half chose to pretend they don't either, at least there was no one with the presence of mind to take photos so evidence is non existent.

The last day Nicky and Phil took us to the Garden of the Gods, a good hours drive from where they live but well worth it, they are strange red rock formations that jut out of the landscape and are very impressive.

Here are the Photos from Claudia's first pony ride on the 4th of July.

Garden of the Gods

Me and my sisters.

Vegas Vacation

2009-07-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

So we left the sultry south and their swamps and pleasant drawls to fly to Sin City, the one and only Las Vegas!
it was a very long trip from one coast to the other with a time difference of three hours, and we flew over the majestic Grand Canyon getting a birds eye view of one of the wonders of the natural world.
Upon arrival we were greeted by my sister and of course the desert heat, but coming from the humid south we really didn't mind that much.
The first day we stayed with my sister and we spent the day at the pool relaxing and taking in some sun, then the next two days my dear brothers paid for two nights at the Venetian hotel where they work and we got to have some tourist time on the fabulous Las Vegas strip. The sights and sounds were just so amazing I wont even try to describe it, it was like one big fairground with lights colors and so much glitz and glam it would put a showgirl to shame.

Enjoy the pictures!

Chris my eldest brother myself and Anna.

Inside the Venetian were the gondolas, wind their way through the hotel and the outside.

One of the hotels lobbies.

Dinner with my three brothers my sister and their loved ones.

Me and Chris and Min.

My brother Alec and us.

One of the many pools at the hotel at night, where we floated and watched the sun set and then the stars appear.

JAWS!!!! well baby jaws...

2009-06-26T06:29:00.001-07:00

So yesterday I finally was raised from the dead. Yes I was sick the day after we arrived here. It was a awful virus that completely knocked me out for two days, I wasn't able to keep anything down and felt like there was an army of dwarfs hacking away at my skull looking for gold.

But thank God its over now and yesterday we went to the beach for the first time since arriving. It was allot warmer then the beach in Italy with warm breezes and balmy water. however where there is warm water there is...yepp thats right SHARKS! If they had told me this before I went to the beach I would have never put one toe in that water, but no it wasn't until some kid caught a baby one in his net right by the shore that they thought to tell me!
I mean yeah they put up a sandbar but anyone who has seen jaws knows that That just doesn't work.
I finally got the courage to pick it up before they released it back, so here is the picture.

Claudia posing.

With Uncle Gabe and Cousin Caroline and Kylie.

Accross the sky....

2009-06-20T13:34:00.001-07:00

So tomorrow is the big day!
The day I will first lay my feet upon American soil, that is of course providing they let us in.
We have a full three weeks ahead of us, and I know it will pass quicker then I can imagine, but I still am looking forward to it.
I will finally post some recent pictures once we have some of our trip, and will hopefully update you all on our adventures.
Pray for us!

Where the sun never sets...

2009-06-08T03:45:00.000-07:00

Well its been a few weeks now that I haven't had a laptop, I have sold my trusty apple as I have my sights set on higher things!
No not a Dell (as if!) but rather the latest model of the 13'' macbook. One of the advantages of living in a expensive country is that you can buy a computer in the States use it for two years and still sell it for almost what you paid for it.
So in two weeks I will be in the states, pick up my apple and once again be connected to the World!
But first a little update on all of you who love me but who I never seem to find time to talk to.

I went to Norway two weeks ago to see my family and friends. (sorry to all of you that I didn't get to see, I only had a few days, so you guys need to come see me soon!)
It was so nice to go back to Norway, I had forgotten how beautiful it is. On the long train ride from the airport I got a perfect view of the stunning mountains, glassy lakes, rolling hills and sweeping birches.
It was almost enough to make me want to move back and settle into one of those houses hanging over the ridge of a hill, with a birds eye view of the lakes below. Each house worth its salt has a porch to sit on and watch the sun as it slowly dips unto the horizon,only to stop and bob in the air as if it is undecided about what to do next. And then it decides that maybe its time to come back out and grace us with its presence.
At the time I was visiting it was only the beginning of the summer months and so there were a few merger hours from 1-4 where the sun would disappear, but as the months wear on it will become bolder and refuse to hide itself.

I had a great time and was able to speak with my brothers and see with my own eyes how big David has grown, I am so happy for the opportunity and cant wait till the next time.

Sorry I don't have any pictures but ryanair is getting too much to travel with these days, and every gram is precious.

London eye.

2009-04-30T12:32:00.001-07:00

Dickens was here.

2009-04-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well it turns out that we are staying at the George Hotel in Reading, where Charles Dickens famously stayed at.
Its really really cute, and the building dates back to 1423, when it was a coach house for people traveling to London. It has this quaint cobblestone feel to it, that is a stark contrast to the inside, which has just been renovated and is top notch.
Anyway, its really sweet that the Lord provided somewhere nice for us to stay, and even though I'm packing on kilos from their huge meals at least we aren't eating home made sandwiches!

Also I need to post some pictures of my birthday, Sean and my Dad were really sweet and my dad and I got to go on the London eye as a birthday gift. It was great, and definably an experience, the London eye is the worlds tallest observation wheel (fancy word for Ferris wheel) it is 135 meters tall and takes about 30 minutes to do one round.
Once I get the pictures from my Dads camera I will post them.

Anyway today is the first day of the fair, so I have to go, wish me luck!

Why?

2009-04-18T15:29:00.000-07:00

Why do I always cry on my birthday?

On the road again...

2009-04-17T04:59:00.000-07:00

I am of the firm belief that if I do not travel at least once every three months I will go clinically insane.

There is nothing I enjoy more then traveling, preferably somewhere I have never been before but I suppose I cant always be so picky, so far I have been to Spain this year somewhere I have never been and It was also a really good learning experience as I attended a seminar there, so not just fun and games.
Now however I am in England again, England and me are becoming old friends, we manage to see each other every year and always seem to get along just fine regardless of the length of time apart.

I am in Kent as I write and will be heading to London tomorrow for the London book fair, tomorrow also happens to be my birthday and hopefully I will be able to persuade my Father to take me on a London tour, I have done it before but its always funner the second time round. (probably because last time I was 14 and totally uninterested)
The fair doesn't officially start until Monday so the next two days will be setup days.
Anyway another thing to look forward to is that I have booked my Tickets to America from June 21st to July 12th, so I will be there for the 4th of July!

We are gonna be real adventurous and manage to fit in three states while there, starting off in Georgia (Savannah) we will then head to Nevada (Las Vegas, woohoo), and finally Denver (Colorado). So we will get to see the Sea the Mountains and the Desert puuurty cool!

Its gonna be a big thing as both of us haven't seen our relatives in years, and so I am looking forward to it.

Easter Parade

2009-04-17T04:23:00.000-07:00

So Easter was a day of firsts this year, it was my First Easter that I participated in a parade and my first Easter that we (AIM) did a charity project on Easter, It was lots of fun!
We teamed up with a Local Italian businessman, who was born and raised in Ireland, he is creating a joint project with us, where will we help different centers for the disadvantaged around Ireland
We started off preparing the float for the parade and getting ourselves together assigning jobs etc, then we marched down main street (that was lots of fun) and finally presented the Open Doors Center (A handicapped center) in Roscommon with a brand new office setup and a complete Wi Fit and consul system. We finished off the event by doing free face painting and ballooning at Morellis Restaurant who sponsored the event.
But it wasn't over yet, we then went home to Darios house where we had a real Italian feast with every type of grilled meat possible!
God is good, with the wine flowing and the conversation loud we ended the day in the way only Italians can perfect, very very full...

First Seminar In Ireland!

2009-03-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

After many prayers and miracles, we finally got ourselves a real Seminar!!! WHOHOO!
And here comes the best part, people actually showed up! HAHAHA

Through a series of miracles we were able to hold it in the SAS Radisson in Dublin City center, a swanky hotel that was perfect for inviting future supporters.
The elevators were so fancy I felt like wiping my shoes before going in, and the carpets....ahhhh, soft as a kitten... We really were spoiled when it came to location.

An Italian restaurant donated the catering and a friend supplied the wine for the event, so there was nothing left but to plan the program.

We decided on a subject that is close to home for most people these days due to the recession. The topic was on overcoming difficulties in our life, and how to thrive through them, the title “Weathering the Storm”. This combined with a presentation of our work in Ireland, introducing the new projects for this year.

We got some musicians, (one of them a former x-factor contestant) to provide the live music and we set the date for March 21st.

We were nervous at the beginning when the clock started ticking toward arrival time, but as soon as the people started to trickle, everything went smoothly (well almost everything :).

Three hours later we were sipping wine, and eating bruscetta as we witnessed and ministered to the attendees, many of them were touched by the invitation, and eager to attend more seminars in the future.

One of the things we passed out to each arrival was a short questionnaire about what they would like to have seminars on in the future.
Many of them choose, “Prayer and Meditation” as well as “Finding Gods will”, we believe that holding more seminars will be one of our focuses in the future, and it looks like a good way to go.

Next time I am thinking something more exotic, like a Spa in Kilarney, or an Island Retreat in Sardania... Who Knows?

At the reception.

The Lecture.

The Food.

The Entertainment.

With friends.

Barcelona

2009-03-19T11:32:00.000-07:00

Tarragona

2009-03-19T11:16:00.000-07:00

Salou

2009-03-19T10:53:00.001-07:00

Spain.

2009-03-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

So I just got back from eight beautiful days in Spain.
It was a wonderful break from my usual life, and I was very happy to have been able to go, I attended a Teachers Seminar which I found really helpful and I have come back with about 80Gb of useful material to help me teach Claudia.

I also managed to fit in some extra circulatory stuff in between the 8 hour classes a day, and stayed up most nights getting to know some wonderful people and party like only 80 moms and teachers can!

We stayed in a beach town called Salou, and while there I also took a trip to Tarragona and Barcelona.

Salou had sweeping beaches and hidden coves where the ocean gently kissed the sand, and lapped against the surrounding cliffs, desert flowers bloomed purple while the odd cactus and aloe vera plant stood as sentinels, guarding the sun worshipers. At night the discos blared music, while Spanish men secure in their appeal danced with flashing grins.

Tarragona was rambling passageways, up the hill and down again, with a Roman amphitheater to remind us of civilizations past, we bought wine from barrels, thick sturdy casks which smelled like oak and fermented grapes.
Sunlight streamed through palm fronds as we walked down the Rambla.

On the free day I went with my Mom to Barcelona which is in my opinion one of the four most beautiful cities in the World.

Only in Europe can you find the kind of culture and history that leaves you breathless. we had a magical day, strolling down narrow alleyways with shuttered windows and terraced balcony's all of them screaming renaissance, but then you turn the corner and you are facing one of Gaudi's modern art peices turning a house into waves of color and balcony's into living trees.

Gaudi´s Sagrada Familia was amazing with the cathedrals pillars touching the sky, seemingly twisted and molded from sand, the inside looked like you were an insect in a flower bed, with stalks around you and flower heads blooming above.

We walked down to the ocean past the vendors selling canaries and watched the sailboats peacefully bob on the rippling tide.
Then drank San Miguel in Placa de Catalunya, surrounded by fountains and children chasing pidgeons.

I will post pictures under the town they were taken in, but for now this is me wishing all of you could have been on the beach in Spain. Enjoy

Hunting Hawk

2009-02-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

Last night Angelo and I got back home at 04:00 AM in the morning, it was snowing and the trip was pretty slippery at times, something we are not usually used to in Ireland. But we had a really good time with an Italian contact of ours, who invited us over for dinner at a restaurant, between him and I we finished off two bottles of some of the best wine I have had for a long time, and the food was amazing as well.
We are going to hopefully be working allot closer with him and his company on many charity projects we have planned this year. But what I really wanted to write about is that last Sunday I got to see one of my favorite birds in action!

I have always loved eagles, Hawks and Falcons, and when Angelo and I took Claudia and Hurly (our lab)to Kinnity Castle in order to walk in the forest, we were able to see a trainer practice with a Hunting Hawk.
He was a beautiful Hawk native to Arizona that was being trained to hunt, I got to pet him and it was so amazing, not to mention a little scary. His claws and beak were pretty intimidating and needless to say I was very gentle when petting him.
Of course Claudia had to try as well after seeing mom do it, so Claudia got to touch the falcon as well!
On the way home we drove over the mountains and got to see deer on the road, Hurly had his exercise chasing the car after us on the road (he is so fast, we drive slow of course and there is no other cars on the forest trail)

The roads were really bad after the rain, and parts of the road had been washed away, we had to creep along on some parts, and the edge was just a little too close for comfort.

Finally!

2009-01-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

Ok finally got up a Christmas pic for my sister Nicky!

Musings

2009-01-15T14:08:00.001-08:00

Its been so long since I posted I thought I had better write something soon before I bury this blog completely.

I have been pretty preoccupied, with different projects and meetings and I have barely found time to take pictures of my baby...

Speaking about my baby, she has grown into a real heart breaker, and I am about to rave a bit now so beware, you have been warned.
I love the way she is lazy in the mornings, and after a whole nights rest from about 9-8:30 she will wake up and crawl into our bed and just want to cuddle and kiss us. She will scoot her back into me and then turn around grab my head and give me a big kiss, complete with sound affects "Muuuuuuah".

I love the way she calls me Mama when she is hurt or sad, and throws herself into my arms (quite literally)and wants me to just hold her.

She is vain too, this afternoon after her nap as we were cuddling on the bed I caught her looking into the mirror and trying to fix her wild curly hair! She likes putting on mascara (yepp that's right, she sits dead still while Angelo puts it on) and if I put on makeup, she insists on sitting in my lap and doing exactly what I do.

Yesterday we caught her getting her Kiddie Viddie opening the DVD player putting it in and turning it on, and she actually set it all up by herself! She gets very excited once she figures things out, and has a little victory dance (more like shake) that she performs.

She is really too smart for her own good, and knows just how to twist you around her little finger, me and the rest of the inhabitants here.

Every night she wants to sit on the chair with you, drink a bottle and read this book called "childhood memories", but the strange thing is that there aren't really any pictures in the book, there is about one or two per chapter but its just a sketch. However for some reason she really likes being read to, I did try reading another more interesting book, as I figured she wouldn't know the difference as it is just words, but she wouldn't have it!

I am teaching her now, about four days a week and its been so fun to watch her progress through her cards, and see how quickly she learns them. In March I am going to Spain, for a week long educational seminar, so hopefully I will get lots of good tips, and ways to improve.

Well its getting late, and I have been feeling a little under the weather so should sign out now, I will try to get some recent photos posted, but my computer just came back from repairs as the hard drive took a bang, and I still need to do my backups.

Driving test is now history!

2008-12-22T04:27:00.000-08:00

Yippee!!!

I am now officially a qualified driver! I was so nervous it felt like I had a wedgie, but even though it was Christmas time and the town was packed with traffic and shoppers, I somehow by the grace of God managed to pass! There was one hairy moment when some bicycle decided it was a grand day for a ride, and almost put me in deadly peril, but it was not to be, and thankfully we got out of that one, with only a grade two fault...Phew!

Well everyone, I am on top of the World and can now get started on my next project, lets see...

Ho Ho Ho

2008-12-17T15:16:00.000-08:00

Well tonight was our first night of pub caroling! Sorry guys didn't take pictures, will do my best to remember next time. It was really fun, it was a good reminder of the Irish and their typical pub culture, beer and singing in other words.

I did feel a bit concerned for our latest addition to the caroling team, he just arrived from the desert a few days ago, and besides being frozen to death, was given a bit of culture shock, as he experienced first hand, a "drinking culture". Ha, it was great when we were serenaded by a half sloshed band of brothers with Irish drinking songs about none other then dear Molly, I should have covered my sisters ears...

Ah there is no other place then Ireland if you want a romping good time while spreading Christmas cheer!

(spoken in Irish brogue) So be theer wind or igh weather, or rwain pooring down. I never say never and will go a carroling to town.

It may not be white but it sure feels right, Woo Hoo, here is to Ireland and good strong cider!!!

GYMATHON.

2008-11-30T13:56:00.000-08:00

Looking for out of the box ideas? Why not try holding a 24 hour marathon at a gym? Sound like fun? Well it sure is, we found it to be not only fun but a great experience and opportunity to get out there and sweat it!

It all started a few months back, when a friend of ours (I really sweet guy, born on Angelo's birthday) who runs a gym, said he wanted to help us in a bigger way. A couple of meetings and brainstorming sessions later, the Gymathon was born.

From 10AM to 10AM, the gym would be open to people, to work out for charity. We designed A5 cards with numbered rows, and the members who signed up for the event, passed the cards around to friends and relatives who would write their names and amount donated, to sponsor their workout at the gym.
Over 50 people signed up for the event. We also got several companies’ to donate food and drink for the 24 hour event as well as banners and flyers to pass out to friends and contacts.

On the day of the gymathon, six of us arrived at nine in the morning. We worked in shifts, some of us would stay at the gym to talk with the members and work out alongside them, and the others to collect prizes for the raffle that would take place for all participants.

Angelo and I headed out into town to pick up some prizes, we needed at least three. One hour later, between ourselves and Sam and Flor, we had 10 prizes collectively worth 400 euros!

It was great fun even though quite exhausting, I stayed til 2:30 and didn't get back home til 04:00 in the morning, only to be woken up by dear Claudia a hour later.

Now we are invited to the gym's Christmas party, and after seeing how we collapsed after 10 minutes on the treadmill (just kidding, it was more like 15) the owner offered the use of his gym anytime to us. But since we live about 45 minutes away, he decided to set us up at home with a mini gym. As of now we are getting a modern state of the art treadmill, and the promise of several other machines that he will get together for us. Woo hoo!

I also met this really cool guy at the gym, he is into natural therapy and does special massages to correct your frame. He set up a table in the gym, and even though his massage costs 65 euros he was offering them for 15 euros each and giving us the funds. He gave Angelo and I a full body massage, it felt so good, and apparently I had all sorts of things wrong with my body haha. He told me I was too stressed (duh) and that I had a bad walking pattern (which is true, I have always walked crocked, my coach in Norway would always get on my case about that). But what was really fun was that I had been reading a book called "Pity the Nation" about Lebanon. And he had been a UN soldier in Lebanon during the time of the events I was reading about so I had a chance to have a good chat with him, about that.

Mamma Mia!!!

2008-11-09T10:18:00.000-08:00

Officially on my favorites list, and its not just because I love musicals, its because I love ABBA!
I have always been a huge fan, and so I was jumping in my little socks, when I heard that it was now in a movie!
With a soundtrack that this movie can boast it is bound to be a hit, even if it didn't have Pierce Bronson, Colin Firth and Meryl Streep. After all it was a smashing hit back then and sure enough its still got the stuff.

What I love most about ABBA, besides the fact that they are Swedish, is that they wrote about their life, every song told their story, and it was a rocky road to say the least. They started off as two couples and in the end after their success they all split up.
Their songs tell of their relationship, how they split up and the pain and heartache it caused, it must have been something to hear them sing on stage about their hopes fears, and broken dreams.

Halloween!

2008-11-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

My goodness what a day!
I have never painted so many faces in my life, nor been so disappointed in childkind...

I came prepared for butterflies, princesses and the odd pirate, but after four hours of witches, skeletons and vampires I was seriously tempted to throw sparkles and pink eyeliner on every last one!
What bloodthirsty little kids haha!

I felt a spark of joy when one kid came and asked for a princess, well my hopes were soon smashed when she asked for a Gothic princess. Hmmmm, another favorite was a "dead cheerleader" how you paint a dead cheerleader is beyond me, but why one would even want to be a dead cheerleader is even more mind boggling.
Oh well I guess I just have to accept that this is a new generation and kids don't want to be butterflies and tigers anymore, but one thing is certain if my kid ever goes trick or treating, she is going as a pussy cat. A PINK pussy cat!

The line was sometimes half an hour long.

Yes! Someone asked for a cat, even if it was a black one at least it was an animal!

Space Cowboy

2008-10-24T13:47:00.000-07:00

This Summer we went to a street artist festival in Dublin, and I was able to see the Space Cowboy. A seriously freaky guy, with an abnormal talent, none other then sword swallowing. But not just any type of sword swallowing he actually made a Guinness world record live there at the show.
He lifted two 50 liter beer barrels attached to a pole with a sword hanging vertical from the center, he lifted the beer barrels by swallowing the sword to the hilt and standing up, thus lifting them up a half meter off the ground.
It was pretty disturbing, you actually saw his chest distort in order to accommodate the sword, they x-rayed his chest and have proven that it is no trick but actually inside of him, petty freaky.
But I have to say I did feel a weird spirit from him, nothing evil but definably a spirit. I wonder just how they manage it, and what side they tune into...

60th Aniversary Party

2008-10-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

By strange twists of fate and my Dads reputation, we got nine tickets to the Frankfurt Bookfair party when each company were only allowed two tickets. Angelo and I got Amanda to act as babysitter and off we went to the biggest party in town!
The country in honor that year at the book fair was Turkey, so they had a Turkish theme to the event.
They had live entertainment, consisting of Turkish pop artists, DJs, and Rope dancers, Alcohol and Food was everywhere and every type as well! They had twenty five different buffets with everything you could imagine, and with every type of sause as well! I must say I did pig out, and the table I shared with the girls was loaded with plates, of chocolate pudding, berries with vannila sause, turkish pastries and sweets, Fish fillet, in white wine sause, every type of salad, Roast Beef and so much more. Unfortunately I couldnt move afterward, so when the Disco started It was rather painful to be pulled into a ring of clapping Turkish dancers, but it was still loads of fun!
Afterward I parked myself at one of the free bars, and ordered everything they had to give. All in all a rather successful evening...

End of the night

Taking a Break

At the Disco

Meeya and I

Frankfurt Bookfair

2008-10-20T15:33:00.001-07:00

So here are the pictures from last week,I had a great time and I got to show off and intelligibly use words like, licensing, co-production, rights and mock-up. I met some potential people and was involved in some exciting meetings with costumers from Canada, Cyprus, Romania, Indonesia and many other countries. There were many late nights, plenty of cocktail parties and champagne, (I even skipped a few I got so spoiled) and I got to wear heels! We also got invited to the 60th anniversary of the Frankfurt Book-fair, a private party that I will post about separately. It feels great to be able to feel confident and good about something that you do, and I am blessed to be able to do a variety of different things, and excel at them. Its only Jesus, and I thank him for giving me the opportunity to be a part of the publishing world.

Pics of the stand

Off tomorow..

2008-10-12T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving tomorrow for Frankfurt, Its the annual book-fair the biggest for trading in the World. My daughter is coming along as well as Angelo to look after her. I'm also really excited as this is the first time in three years that I'm going with a girlfriend! Meeya has been recruited and I cant wait to go Cocktail party crashing with her!!1 OOOOoo I can hardly wait! I don't even mind the competition another girl brings, Meeya and I share all things hehe. Its been so boring with just guys to hang out with, nothing against them but they do limit your free drinks possibilities...
Well that isn't the reason we go, its really five days of hard work, blisters the size of Canada, a smile permanently glued to your face, and large quantities of caffeine. But its all worth it when you realize that we are getting out the books and other products to so many people we would never be able to reach otherwise.
So ending on that happy note I bid you goodbye, and if you hear about some foreigners cavorting on the streets of Frankfurt at 03:00 in the morning then yes that would be me...and Meeya and Angelo and Dan...

2008-10-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

Ever tasted a nine volt battery? Well this little "button" is just that! At the food fair in Dublin that I went to last week, a lady from Holland that was presenting exotic herbs and flowers gave it to me. (I later went back and got two packs) It was the most amazing experience, it starts off as a gentle hum, and then starts buzzing, until your whole mouth is salivating and feels electric! Here is a picture Angelo took, and its called the Suechen button I haven't been able to find anything about it on the internet, so as yet it is undiscovered! Trust the Dutch to find something like this. It grows in South America and Africa.

Out and About

2008-10-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have been negligent with my blogging, I actually have so much going on that I just havent had time to post anything about it hehe. Here are some pictures of when we went to the Rock of Dunamaise. My dear friend Meeya and fellow ram Anjali climbed some rocks and took in some country air....

Neithor here nor there.

2008-09-25T06:17:00.000-07:00

I fear.

My stomach is knotted, my pulse is racing
I feel like a rubber band pulled tight.
The future unfolds, before my eyes
Blinding me with its light.

Which way to turn, which path to follow
The choices hurt my head.
My heart starts thumping, my palms to sweat
But my feet still feel like lead.

I hope.

I love the unknown, it enthralls me
Each day a gift to explore.
The choices challenge and excite me,
I need them more and more.

The endless opportunities, fill my mind
My ideas, run faster then a train.
The time seems so short, each day is so full
I seem to struggle to stay sane.

I dream

The crucial decisions, swim across the room
Taunting me with their grace.
The words, that need speaking, thoughts untold
I cant seem to say to their face.

The weight of the chain, is forgotten
The day it got heavy long past.
Its presence, now comforts, instead of chaffs
but how long can it last?

Trip to the Cliffs

2008-09-24T07:06:00.001-07:00

It started off as a brilliantly sunny day, but by the time we got to the beach it was gray and foreboding. But armed with a six pack, and determination, we climbed the cliffs in order to see the view, which was spectacular by the way. We didn't really take too many photos we were too busy drinking beer and eating crisps, but here are the ones we did have the presence of mind to take.

Angelos Birthday!!

2008-09-18T06:15:00.000-07:00

So last night we had a little cake for Angelo, the party isn't till this weekend, but we couldnt miss out on a chance to eat cake! My chocolate fudge cake wasn't like the one we ate at the restaurant, but it had to do... And after a few drinks nobody cared what it tasted like! Last year on Angelo's birthday we didn't really do anything as I was in labor...So this year we are having three party's! One on the 17th, for Angelo, the 18th for Claudia, and the 19th for Virgos! Woo Hoo!!!!

The proud baker with the cake, sorry about the bra bit, Angelo pulled it down at the last moment, and this was the only photo we took together holding the cake....Sneaky sneaky

As we were taking pictures we realized that we were wearing matching clothes! So we decided to take some "in sync" photos. (we even tried eating in sync afterwards...psycho...)

The crazy twin grin!

Claudia's rebellious face picture

Yepp, my girl has gone crazy...

Blowing out the invisible candles... He got them in one shot, all 26 of them!!

Family Pics

2008-09-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

The other day Angelo and I took some family pics, so here they are enjoy!

Road Trip!

2008-09-12T08:56:00.001-07:00

So we went on the road this week, a trip that got shorter and shorter hehe. But it went really well, I was so buzzed on coffee I sounded like a chipmunk on speed. But hey whatever sells! We got two subscriptions,(WooHoo!) and "Finally" got to meet the elusive mafioso boss. who Angelo has been hounding for a year. He welcomed us like family invited us to dinner, and gave a big donation! TTL!! It rained only in spurts, so we timed our several lunch breaks to perfection! We have officially become experts at licking our fingers and smelling the rain, and even though the boys still tease me, I can swear I smell thunder as well...
Road trips are always fun even if this one went from three days to one, change is part of our lives, and so we embraced it with open arms. (In between the packing, unpacking, schedule changes, phone calls, cancellations, explaining, emergency meetings, and all that stuff)

Winky!

2008-09-12T07:19:00.000-07:00

Ooooo shes cheeky!

Last supper

2008-09-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

Yes Ive been bad, these pics are pretty outdated by now, I blame a faulty memory stick, and a trying life as a manager!
So here they are the last night out with the defrancesco clan! Little did we know that the next day we would miss our flights and stay four more days...But symbolically this is our last night out...
We went to a little tratoria in the mountains, where they dont give you a menu, but just the house specialties, there were four courses and we were so stuffed!

Gathered around the table

Barbarians!

Hmmm...Yeah, I know what it looks like...

Smile!

A little snogging in between courses..

All that eating is hard work...

CARS CARS!!

2008-08-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

In tribute to two of the most beautiful, sexy and powerful cars made!
The Ferrari, and Lamborghini Diavolo

Pictures of Assisi

2008-08-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

The Italian Bethlehem.

2008-08-23T14:13:00.002-07:00

On our way back home, we decided to stop anywhere that caught our interest, and sure enough two hours into our journey we saw a sign for Assisi. Well that was enough for both of us to go off the road and head toward the mountains where St. Francis was born. And I’m so glad we did, It looked just like in the movie, with the walls, churches and houses in the same condition as they were hundreds of years ago. It was like entering a medieval city, with a panoramic view that was breathtaking! Apparently Assisi is joined with Bethlehem, in Israel (don’t ask me why) , so that’s all we need to see now, the twin city. We spent three hours there, going up and down the steep steps, and tunnels that make up Assisi.

In the main piazza.

The entrance going to Saint Francis church

View from the church

Pictures of Rome

2008-08-21T01:05:00.000-07:00

Rome the eternal city!

2008-08-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

Wow where to start in Rome? It was all just so enormous! Everything was so awe inspiring that I just walked around with my mouth hanging open! Well I will start with the beginning, first of all we had grand plans of leaving at 7:00 again but didn’t get out till 10:00, we slept in since we were pretty tired after the last day. In Rome we parked near the center, and rented bikes for the day, Angelo talked with the guy and got us an incredible discount 15 euros for two bikes for the whole day! And let me tell you if you go to Rome and don’t have so much time like us, then bikes are the way to go! We could write a book about Rome in a day! We got everything in, of course we were there from 12:00-01:00 but it was so worth it! From the Palatine, Circus Maximus (where Ben Hur raced) to the Coliseum, then the Parthian, Trevi Fountain, and the Spanish steps! And there was plenty more stuffed in between! Getting lost we found was the best way to see the city, as on a bike it isn’t a big deal. We zipped past sweating tourists, and were constantly stumbling upon some historic site where we would spend some time before setting off again down some random street!
We returned the bikes at 19:00 and drove into the center where it was more empty at night, and parked by the main street. For dinner we went to eat at a restaurant run by nuns, right in the center. We had a four course meal with wine, for a decent price for Rome, only downside was that it was in a cellar, and not on the street so we could people watch, but at least we know for next time! Afterward we walked around Rome, by night it is like a completely different city, with glowing fountains, candlelit streets, and best of all a cool 25 degrees, definably an improvement from the baking hot day! We walked hand in hand down the streets eating icecream, and throwing coins in fountains, we wanted to put a lock on a bridge in Rome, which is a symbol of “true love” and is a tradition, where you then throw the key into the Tiber river, meaning you will always stay together, but it was too far to walk, and driving in Rome is a headache, with one way roads and bridges, so Angelo suggested that we return next time with Claudia, and lock two locks together one with our names and one with hers and then put them on the bridge. It sounded like a good idea to me and I was too tired to look for the bridge anyway. Since we were near the famous Trevi Fountain Angelo wanted to throw a coin together into it, and decided that would have to count as the same thing. Too soon it was time to head back, and we crossed the Tiber river and went home.

If you look closely in the background you can see the coliseum.

In the Old Forum, where it all happened! This is where Ceasar was murdered in the Senate.

I will not go into the great lengths Angelo went to , in order to take this photo... But it involved some weird positions on the ground ;p

Inside the Coliseum.

The Pantheon at night

Under the Tuscan sun.

2008-08-18T01:42:00.000-07:00

Driving through Tuscany was nothing short of magical, words and even photos cant do it justice, it was just breathtaking, we went on a winding road, that meandered through the endless lines of grapevines (they are sweet by the way, not like the grapes in Romagna) olive groves, and wheat fields, it was just the combination of the colors, along with the stunning villas, that made that trip so pretty. This is the region called Chianti where the wine by the same name comes from. We went off the beaten track in search of fresh olive oil, and found ourselves at a villa high in the hills with olive groves and a swimming pool on the edge of the hill overlooking the valley. It was a Villa that you could rent a room at, and Angelo spent some time with the housekeeper who is from Peru (Angelo is half Peruvian) and who invited us back, next time we were in the region. From there we continued toward Rome but got distracted again by a castle on a hill, so had to stop to take a look. There we found a village festival with wine tasting and a wedding, was great fun to look around and we spent over a hour there. By this time it was getting dark and we still weren’t anywhere near Rome. So we decided to go straight to the house of the friends we would be staying with. Well easier said then done, back roads at night are a little bit confusing and we were soon lost in the hills, we drove around little villages where everyone had a different idea of where to go, but thankfully we made it, even though it was 00:15 by the time we arrived and collapsed in bed!

Our first view of the Tuscan hills, by Florence.

My tribute to the grapes of Chianti.

The sunset.

A few scenery shots.

2008-08-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Florence- The city of Inspiration!

2008-08-17T06:08:00.000-07:00

We started off the first day at 7:00 in the morning, and had a gorgeous drive with the sun rising behind us, we didn’t want to take the highway at any point during our travels as it would let us see more of the country side, and be able to stop whenever we want, and that’s one thing me and Angelo love to do, stop and see whatever catches our interest along the way. So we decided to go to Florence over the mountains that separate Tuscany from Romagna, so off we went! Towards the top of the mountain we stopped to get some pictures of the view, we went down this tiny little dirt path, and when trying to turn around afterwards, we got very stuck, and let me put it this way, the back wheels weren’t even touching the ground… So I got out and prayed desperately as Angelo literally burnt rubber, the tires were spinning so fast! Well thank God we made it and afterward we were kicking ourselves because we didn’t take pictures, hehe, we even considered getting stuck again just so we could show you guys!
Well we arrived in Florence at 11:30 our plan was to stay there till 15:00 and then head to Rome, well, that plan was soon discarded as we proceeded to explore Florence we went down back roads and admired statues, climbed hills for the view and had a picnic on the piazzale di michaelangelo. Florence is the city of art where allot of the famous artists and painters were from, and it was SO beautiful, we left at 16:30 and headed into the Tuscan sun, and the region of Chianti!

View from the hills, overlooking Florence, our first glimpse of the city!

Sitting on the goldsmiths bridge, silly boy had to ruin my shot...

We went for lunch at the Piazza di Michaelangelo, this is the view from there at a little church we found at the top of it.

Angelo stopped several fellow turists, before we found one who took a decent picture, you wouldn't believe some of the photos of us people took! We would ask for a picture of us and the view, and they would smile nod, and only take of our faces!

Angelo snapped this picture of me, as I was resting, while he experimented taking pictures of the houses on that street.

Our vacation within a vacation!

2008-08-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

For three days, while visiting Angelos parents, they took the baby for us so we could take a few days to see the beautiful country of Italy, I decided to write about our trip in segments, as we did so much and saw even more that I would have to write a book to do it justice! A big thank you to Angelos family!!!
I'm not going to overload everyone so I will post a bit every day so you don't become bored!
Ciao tutti!