Disclaimer.
Before you start reading let me just inform you that the word "Love" is not to be found in the text below so I have kept to my promise not to discuss that emotion. I have however neglected my essay on thread counts. After a final revision of the original draft I realized that it was quality material that most of you readers would have no understanding or appreciation of so I have instead sent it in to the proper section where it can be put to good use.
End of disclaimer.

Today was another one of those days where I felt rotten, just down right rotten.

I was ready to go out the door early after breakfast with my detailed list of places, names and addresses to visit. God my organization is starting to impress me these days, all that time living with a Virgo finally rubbed off!

So my partner aka Serbian translator, driver and yes a Virgo (how do I always get stuck with these Virgo men?) was slightly delayed. Whoever said that women were late definitely has not been in the company of half the men I have worked with, as I always seem to be waiting in the car a good half hour while they painstakingly finish gelling their non existent hair into the perfect spike. (Now guys don’t get all offended, this is just a women speaking after all what does she know?)
Moving on, albeit slowly…

So since I have time on my hands I decided to sit down and think for a bit. NOT a good idea! Whoever said that women shouldn’t think for themselves was right!
We really shouldn’t, our minds are deep dark chasms that should not be entered without the most able of guides, preferably equipped with some sort of weapon to fend off the whirlwind of conflicting emotions and ideas.

But don’t worry this is not another post about the evils of emotions, although for the record yes they are evil. Blah, yuck, gross.
Back to my story, I started to think, and I started to scare myself! Soon I was staring out the window two milliseconds away from tears. A chipped fingernail would have sent me over the edge and you would have had to apply an IV drip just to rehydrate me.
Just when I think I am a strong independent women (all those women’s lib meetings with Anna have really inspired me) I realize that I am just a scared little girl on the inside, lying to myself. I pride myself on honesty but I deceive myself to distraction.
Why can’t I let go? I feel like that dammed eagle just chained to that post going around and round the same problem, and when given the opportunity to fly and leave it behind I go right back to that post arrrrgggg!!!

Anyway this story has a happy ending, we finally got out of the house just before I melted into a little puddle of depression (terrible stuff that) we had an amazing day full of crazy Serbian encounters and after speeding down the Main street I was feeling pretty good (that last part is a LIE I wasn’t actually speeding, ahem, I am a safe and careful driver…)

This time away has been so good for me, but it has also shown me my limits and to some degree my selfishness. Feeling sorry for oneself is really just pride and if I accomplish anything from my self imposed banishment it will be to stop thinking about myself, and what I think would be best for me.

Now the day is at its end, I just finished drinking beer and eating amazing sushi and feel so lucky to be surrounded by people that accept me for who I am, and who maybe even appreciate me.

Who cares how many friends I have on facebook, or how many guys I have dangling after me or even how much I weigh, I never did care about those things why should I start now? So enough with the menopausal moaning, get up and get over it, eat some more Sushi, drink some more beer. Life is too short to waste it on people who don’t care anyway.